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Really,  who else can we ever be besides ourselves? Duh, right? Except I have spent so many years in a quandary about who that me person truly is and how to show up in all of my interactions as nothing other than me. How would someone else handle this? What would so-and-so do? What if I and then…? What should I do? I would wonder what you would do as if that has any bearing on what is right for me. You have officially met the Mayor of Crazytown.

This morning I did it. I was just me in an encounter that could have and definitely would have knocked me off this 4 inch beam of emotional stability at any other time in my life. Today by hook or crook I kept my balance. It took some serious mental coaching and self talk but I acted from a place of real purpose, clear intention and love, all the while…and this is the important part…staying true to my deepest self, maintaining MY joy regardless. Words will never do justice to that experience for me. It felt as good as winning the freaking World Cup! I stayed happy, aligned with the larger part of me that knows that most of the time other people’s “stuff” isn’t actually about me at all. I didn’t take someone else personally and I could have skipped around the block with pride shouting “I did it!! I did it!!” It might sound ridiculous but folks, that was a life changing moment for me.

It is so exhausting to try to anticipate how to be, what to say, how to act, as if we can ever know what’s going to happen anyway. After a conversation I tend to replay the darned thing over and over in my mind, ruminating about it until I’ve drilled every word into the depths of my brain.  Martha Beck explains in a recent article for O Magazine that there is a technical term for it…

Psychologists call it perseverating: “To repeat or prolong an action, thought, or utterance after the stimulus that prompted it has ceased.”

Me? I call it obsessive thinking. Usually I find it does me no good, costs me a shit ton of time I could be spending enriching my life and encourages negative feelings that just further wreak havoc. So today I opted to follow my recent mantra of “I am responsible for my joy” and I must say it actually worked. When I own that my happiness depends of me and my reactions to whatever comes down the pike, I feel a sense of power knowing I have a choice about how I respond and therefore how I feel. Brilliant! Simple, but for me painfully difficult.  Dare I say that I am actually looking forward to trying out this new superpower of mine again soon? Be yourself….now I so get it!!!

Be yourself; everyone is already taken – Oscar Wilde

It’s the humor in my friendships I love the most. Really, what’s better than an inside joke or a simple sideways, knowing, glance between great friends? I am fortunate to have a few relationships like these and I cherish them beyond measure. Who else but a true friend would offer to pee around the perimeter of my yard to mark the territory with me in hopes that an evil fisher cat in the neighborhood would stop encouraging my indoor cat to mark his turf in the house? Turns out that fisher cat scent was actually just an enormous juniper bush but it was the thought that counted.

hand made bento bag by zakka nouveau

Finding new, cool stuff online is a bit of an obsession of mine. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an object for sale. Show me a worthy cause, fun video, interesting blog, new-to-me artist or DIY tip and I am happy. All of the endorphin causing perks of shopping without any of the expense. Here’s are some current loves of mine…

- a recipe for homemade pop rocks!! really.

- a trusted favorite site that reminds me to live more simply: Leo Babauta’s zenhabits.net

- the new collection from zakka nouveau

- this custom address stamp by Note Trunk

- this illustration of a camera by Brent Couchman

- these virtual pin boards at pinterest.com

- this poster supporting aid efforts in japan from wk studios

Check back often to see what other nuggets of goodness I find along the way.

Sometimes we all just need to be reminded…

An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life… He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil—he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego. The other is good—he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.” They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win, Grandfather?” The Elder simply replied, “The one you feed.” ~source fadinglikearose.tumblr.com

My world always feel like it is moving at warp speed and my mind is even worse. Right now I am juggling what feels like the entire contents of a Chuck E Cheese ball pit and doing my darndest to keep everything up in the air. I admit I get frazzled easier than most, it doesn’t take much actually and I must confess to knowing many people who successfully manage WAY more than I do without the faintest sign of being overwhelmed.

When they tested me for a.d.d. they asked me to remember a series of numbers. It’s was easy at first: 2, 5,7 but then quickly become the beginning stage of a panic attack when it was 2,5,7,9,12,15,22,36,45,and 56. They had me waving my white flag of surrender at 9. So I do know that my plate tends to feel full, more quickly, with less on it than your average multi-tasking modern woman. That said, with 2 young sons, and ex-husband with an ever changing schedule, a.d.d., a couple crazy cats, a new business project in the works and being self employed full time it feels like I am always seeking the calmness of the eye of the storm.

When one of my photography students Ben, asked me to suggest some topic ideas for his high school senior project my mind began to race and I quickly thought of the idea of motion.  One of my favorite things about photographing anything is that I find it slows me down. Something about looking at things through the lens quiets me down, eases my pace and allows me to see things from a new perspective. It’s my equivalent of a runner’s high-my photographer’s calm-and I crave it and come back to it like any decent junkie would.

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

Where was the class in high school about learning to deal with life’s important challenges?  Call me crazy, but being taught skills like: balancing a check book, being a great listener, resolving conflicts in a healthy way, knowing the importance of a strong FICO score and handling unexpected disappointments would have been priceless and saved me a lot of painful aggravation. I was reminded yesterday just how poorly I deal with disappointment and my thoughts sent me into a fascinating tail spin. Why do I even feel disappointed? How much of disappointment is because of expectation?  What can be done to recover from it? When I am at a loss I usually turn to the work of Abraham Hicks for insight. Here’s what he says:

Disappointment is communication from your Inner Being letting you know that that which you are focused upon is not what you want. If you are sensitive to the way that you are feeling, then the disappointment itself will let you know that what you are thinking about is not what you want to experience.

Abraham Hicks (Esther & Jerry Hicks)
The Law Of Attraction

good friend meg showing off her well rehearsed "frown face"

Is disapointment really just a way of letting us more clearly know what we want…or don’t want?

Disappointments aren’t meant to hurt you or keep you down

Dealing with disappointment is meant to help you grow and to remind you of your priorities. Sometimes, it can even stop you from going down the wrong path because you take the time to remind yourself of where your priorities really lie.

The initial disappointment may actually turn out to be a gift which saves you from much greater grief when you realize it wouldn’t have been a good thing. Or you end up getting something much better.

The real key is to pay attention to your reaction to the event

What are you concentrating on; the disappointment or figuring out a solution to the problem? This may seem like a really simple thing but by doing this you’ll see a huge difference in your confidence levels. You’ll also have an increased sense of satisfaction with your life. And, the real beauty of

this is it’s entirely your choice as to what you choose to focus on. -excerpt from Catherine Pratt

no looking back

My strategy right now to get myself back on track?  Remember to do that things that make me feel better:
- drink plenty of water

- go to yoga

- spend time with friends

- take photographs of things that make my heart soar

- listen to inspirational wisdom

- do something nice for someone else

- remember my strengths

- find the humor and silver lining

It was just two months ago that Monica Rodgers and I accidently found ourselves on the verge of a project that we believe can help women everywhere feel better about themselves. A combination of photography, social media and old fashioned girl talk we call it The Revelation Project and so far it is really living up to it’s name.

As more and more women come forward, wanting to take part in this project, wanting to see that forgotten part of themselves revealed, wanting to be awoken from their long slumber, the more I get to thinking. How many other inspiring endeavors are out there to take note of?  What are other women dreaming up, taking action on and promoting that could add some value or humor to my life? I let my fingers do the walking..um googling…and the short answer is?  There are TONS! Here are just a couple…

The Secret Agent L Project: Secret Agent L, whose real identity is that of Laura Miller,  goes all over Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and leaves little acts of kindness and day-brightening for an unsuspecting person to find.  The SAL Project and has blossomed into an international phenomenon of anonymous acts of kindness, with over 1,600 Affiliated Agents sharing in the fun and selflessness all over the world.  Some of the countries that have participated in the project include Japan, Germany, Canada, Denmark, the Netherlands, and Australia.-excerpt from Secret Agent L

magnet for sale from secret agent L

Each random act of kindness carried out is called a “mission” and they are wonderfully creative like leaving a “get outdoors and enjoy Pittsburg kit” in a local mall’s food court for someone to find and use. Other agents have left books in taxi’s for the next passengers, posted $5 gift cards for coffee at bus stops in the winter, and carried out a gazillion other loving acts of support to strangers. They then post about their mission on the blog to share their ideas with others. I just love the idea of all of these secret little acts of kindness taking place with no attachment to being recognized for it…kind of makes me want to come up with my own mission…keep you posted.

Kindness Girl: Guerrilla Goodness

What IS Guerrilla Goodness you ask?

Guerrilla Goodness is intentional, anonymous acts of kindness performed in playful, creative ways for strangers, friends, and family.

It is the power of kindness and joy coming alive for all involved, both the giver and recipient. It’s discovering something about yourself and the world that changes everything, it is about believing and standing in kindness.

Guerrilla goodness is dropping flowers on strangers’ doorsteps, chalking up sidewalks outside of schools with good wishes on the first day of school, leaving quarters in all the gumball machines in town, slipping starbucks gift cards into books at the library for the next reader to find.

I like to think it is where strangers and kindness meet to play!- excerpt from Kindness Girl’s Blog

photo by moyra scott

Join the Revelation on facebook!

I just adore stumbling upon great things online and have decided to start sharing what I find with you.

Although it’s been a long time since I suited up in my “Brownie” uniform- complete with sash for achievement badges- I still have to admit that I do like receiving kudos for a job well done…Who doesn’t?

These merit badges from Disorderly Goods are brilliant! Wouldn’t you love to get one of these bad boys in acknowledgement for a difficult situation endured, a hurdle overcome, an act of kindness bestowed or maybe just for a life well lived.

Frozen. My mind goes blank. This is absurd. All I do is talk to people. All day long I have “AHA!!” BLOG moments, funny, insightful posts, photography tips, parenting stories, humiliating “oh no you didn’t” personal tidbits that would connect our humanness…it’s an endless list of  things I want to share with you and my mind goes BLANK.

Those of you who know me will understand how *ludicrous* this is.

Today my insight is that wrangling my thoughts in order to post on my blog feels like I am trying to thread an elephant through the eye of a needle.

When most of us think of  weddings, we think of summer. Hot and humid New England days, fresh cut green grass, flowers in bloom and outdoor wedding tents. Personally I think there is something uniquely special about winter weddings. They are cozier perhaps, more intimate. Last weekend I photographed Tommy and Leah’s beautiful wedding on a very cold and blustery day. The weather only made the shooting the outdoor images more of an adventure and significantly more fun! Luckily for me both bride and groom were up for anything and have fabulous senses of humor so we could be rather playful in our approach.

Together with their wedding party, we braved the very blustery Rhode Island Coast in Wickford and were blessed with some unexpected-yet much appreciated-sun just when we needed it most.

Then it was off to Quidnessett Country Club for the reception. Tommy’s daughter Riley stole the show all evening as she broke out the most incredible dance moves any of us had ever seen a young child perform- away from the America’s Got Talent stage. She was amazing and watching her dance with her father…well there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.

A beautiful bride, a beautiful day and a beautiful life in the making. It was a privilege to take part!