He bent down, picked up a rock and threw it into the sea. Toddling down the beach two paces at a time, propelled by some inner directive. Notice stone, choose stone, hurl stone, repeat. 

When we arrived at the beach, he raced to the shoreline on cartoon locomotive legs.

It’s Monday morning and I have no business being here. Afterall, there are podcast guests to follow up with, tax documents to retrieve, clients to schedule and mortgage sustaining work to be done.  You know? The important things.

Watching the moving meditation of my friend’s one and a half year old as a way to launch my work week may seem like the surefooted move of saboteurs like procrastination and avoidance (and there are days when this would be an accurate assessment); but this time it was on purpose. 

Turns out people are an investment. Perhaps you knew this. I did not. Til later.

Yet another valuable truth that didn’t make its way into my family’s lexicon of facts to share with us kids about life so I also learned this lesson the hard way.

My parents came with a congregation and so much trauma that they had a better chance of correctly identifying the dead body of a total stranger in the street than identifying the non-negotiables of how to have a healthy relationship with another person. 

I’ve since learned strong, satisfying relationships need to be cared for and tended to like a garden. Makes sense. They require a commitment and are fed by the reciprocity of our resources of time, energy and spirit..and sometimes they are inconvenient.

People who love us well over time and engage with us through acts of presence, friendship and generosity; (especially those who aren’t afraid to lean on that love to set a boundary or call us out), help us feel deeply known and connected.  

Growing up, my boys were fortunate enough to have a few aunties, uncles, mentors and guides who loved them well and reminded them who they are. The way they showed up taught me how important just being there is. Young or old, It’s priceless, to be shown how much you matter.

Our “what’s in it for me” culture begs us to remember that what we nurture thrives and becomes a vital source of nourishment for all. It’s what grows us. What's in it for me IS this divine nectar of love and belonging that service delivers.

When my dear friend had her son last year, I committed to being a meaningful person in his life for the long haul.  So on some busy Monday mornings you’ll find us happily skipping stones together by the sea. 

Invest in someone you love. Who needs you to be more than just on the sidelines of their life?